march 18th 2019;6:52pm

i dont know much of anything except the regret

i feel when i try to climb again and again uphill

reaching for what cant be mine

my conscious speaks and says im wasting my time

i’ve been in this boat now for weeks on an for months

tryna settle in

uncomfortable to the situation that im facing

knowing it doesnt have to be in the mirror that im facing

my decision to make me feel better is clever


i havent been

i’ve been punishing myself leaving no room for me

or myself

disrespecting time and not even considering my health

im growing tired

im slowing down

it’s come to the point where im standing in the same spot again looking up at

the sky

asking what now?!

im tired of my only resource being the re-source back to a poem

the more i write the more i feel like shit

this isnt helping it

im getting bored with it

i know better to do better

yet i still stand bare writing me these letters


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